ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Are you the type of person who always say "yes" to your co-employees or to your superiors? If that is your problem, my friend, you need to learn how to communicate assertively. Here is a simple recipe for assertive communication.

1. Only raise one issue at a time. Only raise one issue at a time so that your communication will be more focused.
2. Resist the temptation to wound or score points. We have to understand that we assert ourselves. We communicate not to score points, not to wound or injure other people, we are communicating assertively because we believe that what we think our opinion is also of equal value with that of other people.
3. Use “I” instead of “you.”
   
4. Take out all inflammatory or emotive languages including always and never. Never say never. Take out the inflammatory or emotive f language. Be as objective as possible and never use weeping generalizations.
5. Focus on the issue or the behavior and not the person.
6. Explain the tangible or intangible effects the behavior has on others including you.
   
7. Tell what you would like to see happen. It is not enough that you explain the situation. If you want to be assertive, if you want to be heard, tell what you would like to see happen.
8. Listen and give others fundamental respect. If you want others to listen to you when you are talking, if you want others to value what you are saying, you should do likewise.
   

Encourage assertive communication and you will discover a lot of great ideas from your people.
Remember no one has the monopoly of all the knowledge and all the good ideas in the world, so start listening to your people and when you start listening, people will become braver and more courageous to assert themselves and communicate what they are thinking of.
(this post is an excerpt in one article written by Alan Billingham, workshop facilitator of Media Associates)